It annoys me when I see people getting paid more than you, even though they work less hours and work harder than you. You may think it’s unfair, or they may not know what the real job is.
But what if that person is your significant other? I feel like it should be different. People in a couple should support each other and rejoice that the other is not overworked and is well paid to live a comfortable life.
In practice, this is not always the case. A man was quite upset that his girlfriend had more income and less work. Furthermore, he told her that and confessed on the internet that he wanted people to know how wrong he was.
More information: reddit
Woman accused of not being worth the money she is being paid, boyfriend doesn’t understand why she is mad
Image credit: Annie Spratt (not actual photo)
The story takes place a few years ago, when the pandemic was still in full swing and employees were encouraged to work from home as much as possible. The original poster (OP) lived with his girlfriend and both were working from home at the time.
OP does network infrastructure support for a living, and his girlfriend is a software safety verifier and works for a consulting firm. Previously, we didn’t know each other’s days at the office, but OP was pretty annoyed when he saw his girlfriend’s schedule.
She started work at 9:30 for a meeting, but woke up about 15 minutes before. A woman showered, had breakfast, and did chores during her working hours. It was only a few hours that she sat down and worked, but most of the time she kept her eye on messages and emails.
The story’s author, like his girlfriend, works in the tech industry, and their home became an office during the pandemic.
Image credit: u/throwaway862610
She also had a very healthy approach of being unresponsive during off-duty hours. It sounds like a dream, but besides, she was only 25 and earning $120,000 a year. Her girlfriends attributed the biggest factor to her trying her new job since she worked three full-time jobs since college.
OP, on the other hand, works all day without taking a break to eat or do household chores. Despite staying at a high school, she earned more than half her annual income.
Seeing what he called his girlfriend “lazy”, he got angry that she wasn’t really working and was overpaid. Jealousy is a naturally occurring emotion, but my boyfriend never perceived it as such and just told her girlfriend that she should have a better work ethic.
The man didn’t know his girlfriend’s work schedule, but he knew she made almost twice as much as he did.
Image credit: u/throwaway862610
At this point, my girlfriend was also annoyed. Because during that time she was accused of being lazy, even though she did all the work and took care of the house. Not only that, but I actually could have gotten a better paying job, but I took it specifically because it gave me a good work/life balance.
The boyfriend felt it necessary to point out that his girlfriend had the privilege of having a well-paid job compared to others. That’s not wrong, but I can’t get mad at her that her employer values her work and that’s reflected in her salary.
During lockdown, he noticed his girlfriend didn’t work much and spent time doing housework and showering
Image credit: u/throwaway862610
People in the comments were pretty confused as to why the OP saw his girlfriend’s successful career as a problem and the outcome he was expecting after making the comment. Diagnosed with jealousy. Rather than offend their girlfriends, they suggested that they try finding a better paying job for themselves.
motley fool “It’s understandable to be a little jealous of your significant other’s success —even though that success will benefit you too.
therapist Shirley Kay I agree that it’s inevitable to feel jealous, but handling it is a whole other matter. The trick is to know them and express them in a way your partner can hear and digest. This requires familiarity and connection so that you can be clear about how you are feeling. ”
The girlfriend’s salary and her working hours are clearly not the issue here, and he never mentions that money shortages or gaps are an issue, so it’s the boyfriend’s jealousy or insecurity. It can be inferred that
The man got annoyed because he worked twice as much but was only paid half.
Image credit: MadFishDigital (not actual photo)
It is not certain whether these feelings are driven by stereotypical gender roles, but an interesting fact is that men are more likely to experience stress when they earn less in relationships, or even when they earn about the same amount. It became clear that I felt
study authors, Joanna SildaI pointed out the findings.
But when the spouse’s wage exceeds that, their distress level rises sharply. And it’s when you’re completely financially dependent on your partner that you feel most stressed. ”
He didn’t hide his feelings, accusing his girlfriend of being lazy and believing she was being overpaid for what she did.
Image credit: u/throwaway862610
This indicates that men still feel pressured by social norms to be the breadwinners of their families, and that disobeying that image is stressful. He tends to hide his feelings, pointing out that wives don’t even know how their husbands feel about what they earn.
Dr. Joanna Silda “These results are powerful enough to point to the persistence of gender identity norms and their role in men’s mental health problems. It can lead to many harmful health problems, including psychiatric problems.
The woman was offended by his words, as she was being paid for her knowledge and ability, and the CEO decided she deserved to be paid.
Image credit: u/throwaway862610
Image credit: Alexander Gray (not actual photo)
Arguably, men’s mental health issues are just as important as anyone else’s, but making someone feel better by putting them down as not worth the money they’re being paid doesn’t solve the problem.
Do you think the OP could have put his feelings into another word? What do you think of Dr. Joanna Silda’s discovery? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Readers agreed with his girlfriend, who called him jealous and encouraged him to find a better job himself.
