People aspire to be perfect. But we are flawed. So when you try to hide your shortcomings, you are often the only one who is fooled.And then there’s Reddit Position to remind us of it in case we forget.
Created by User Fort Blanket piratesit asked everyone, “What is it that we all pretend no one does, but in reality we all know we all do?” noticed it right away, and in less than two weeks, we’ve already received over 19,000 comments, many of which provide accurate answers! Keep scrolling to see which ones have the most upvotes! please.
Don’t just answer a call, Google an unrecognized number to find out who it is
Read multiple times after sending/posting a comment/text. Just to soothe the fact that you are a modern-day Shakespeare.
Build up conversations in your head before anything important. When I say this, the response from others might be this.. It can take 10-15 minutes to come back to reality.
I look up the words people use because I don’t know what they mean when they pretend to speak.
Children hide profanity from adults, and adults hide profanity from children. Both sides must maintain the illusion that the other does not know the blasphemy.
Always talking to himself, making strange noises, and doing strange dances by himself. Or is it just me?
Recently, my wife had to knock loudly and tell me to wait before I opened my son’s bedroom door. I should have explained the reason for FFS. I know he’s cheating all the time, but he’ll be mortified if anyone finds out, especially his parents.
You walk into a grocery store aisle and see someone in front of what you’re looking for, so pretend you’ve got something else, hover near that person, and Waits for the to leave the area and does what is said.Object.
Feeling anxious after social events.
“Was I weird?”
“Did they like me?”
“Did I look good enough?”
we all do this. your friends don’t hate you They care as much as you hate them. Healthy people don’t sit and think how much they dislike someone they’ve just seen or met. Your true friends don’t care if they think you don’t like them (behaving weird, being awkward, being shy). just breathe. You are loved, even if it is just you. you are loved
Mentally convince everyone around you that they are doing things perfectly efficiently, and expect the same from those around you.
No? Just me?
Use a cotton swab to clean your ears. We all *know* that it’s bad and hurting ourselves in the long run…but it feels good to scratch an itchy and dirty ear canal.
Fart in public.
I was at Home Depot a few months ago and I was walking down the aisle and another guy was walking down the same aisle toward me. The exact words are, “I just put my pants on there. Wait a minute before you head there.”
I have never been so grateful for a complete stranger. It just means taking care of your mates out there! We’ve all been outside and unknowingly gone through someone else’s fart…or let someone go through ours…
Edit: Wow! After reading all of your comments, husband/wife assaulting in a grocery store line, leaving an innocent spouse in heat, and a teacher dusting a student deliberately playing an idiot. They’re all sick and twisted…and I love it, and I’m sure some of you are evil geniuses.
To those of you who have commented on how awful we are and have never popped in public, let me apologize on behalf of all of us filthy mcnasty.
And finally, to all of you who have fallen victim to the errant Airbiscuit and are suffering from the trauma it caused – I’m sure this is where your origin story begins… that there are good people like me. Remember Home Depot Buddies are doing the work of the gods to prevent people from the horrific experience of unwittingly walking through and tasting someone else’s brand…
Simply put, you guys are great!
I don’t know if all of us do, but we open our cards and pretend not to see the cash drop out while we read them.Hahaha
Deliberately delay replying to text messages and emails, even when it’s convenient to do so.
The day you dream of kissing/cuddling with someone. No one will admit it because it sounds ridiculously weird, but we’ve all done it, and probably most of us still do.
Brush your teeth until your gums bleed before going to the dentist.
A secret playlist you don’t want anyone to know
Office workers skip at least half of their “work” hours. For many of us, the 40-hour workweek is outdated. I can work 15-20 hours a week and just sit around for the other 20-25 hours. Why don’t we all cut the fucking and live the f********g life already?
Put clean towels and clothes in the laundry basket for days and put off folding them.
incoming phone call. First thoughts: *oh, why the hell is this person calling me..*
Answer: “George, I’m glad you called…”
We all know that people sign up for free trials and cancel before they end. it’s ok i’m doing it too
Lies such as “How are you?” or “Do you need help?”
Instantly judge people by their appearance.
This can be anything from race, gender, age, clothing, hairstyle, facial appearance, etc.
We make these judgments before we even think about it. Almost instant. Some of these decisions are so controversial that none of us want to talk about them.
My father always said that there are two people in this world. People who pee in the shower, liars.
Instead of kicking and picking up ice cubes that have fallen under the refrigerator.
I think there’s actually a term for this, but I would attribute it to what you do when you’re upset or hurt and feel better about being upset. Instead of getting angry and crying, it’s a long history of the mistakes that person has made.
Daydreaming about childish shit.
No, when you asked me what I was thinking and I said nothing when you saw me zoned out, I was literally thinking nothing.
At that moment, I was either a race car driver or an astronaut.
Yes, I had a plan in my head about how to weigh my own head or how to wail in a crying baby’s face and see the reaction.
No, when you ask me face to face, I lie and say nothing, I say nothing important, or press rewind to the last vaguely important plot point and tell me I’m face I don’t mean to say that I was thinking of saving the
Lying about watching a video or seeing a meme someone texts you
When you make plans with someone and regret it, instead of just saying you don’t want to go, lie about why you can’t and cancel the plans.
Save dead batteries, pretend to dispose of them properly, and hide them in the trash when things get out of hand.
Complaining that others are speeding too fast or speeding too fast for no reason
call an expert after leaving something too long
I’m not the only one who looks at other guys and wonders how big his d**k is compared to mine.