Have you ever heard someone complain that their partner’s family is absolutely terrible? They don’t want to be with them or have anything to do with them. It may create unwanted tension between family members, but it’s a sure sign of how much they love their partner.
This makes me wonder if it was stupid of him to borrow $70,000 of equipment from BIL and then destroy it and then tell his brother-in-law (BIL) to settle a ten-year grudge against the poster’s family. This is the story of the contributor. I never compensated him for it.
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A strained relationship with your partner’s family is bound to make things difficult, especially if they don’t make eye contact with you.
Image credit: Michael Coghlan (not actual photo)
The conflict in the story began ten years ago when Poster’s family, with the help of his wife, borrowed some equipment from BIL without his consent.
Image credit: WallabyOverall3366
On the way to take the equipment, the father lost control and totaled the truck and all the equipment.
Image credit: WallabyOverall3366
They used insurance to cover their medical bills and bought a new truck, but never paid back their BIL.
Image credit: WallabyOverall3366
10 years later BIL still hasn’t let this go and when the poster heard about it he called BIL and accused him of being greedy
Image credit: WallabyOverall3366
The call upset BIL’s wife and she withdrew from the upcoming family gathering.
In short, the story goes like this. The original poster (OP) sister is married to a general contractor. A general contractor is someone who oversees all parts of a client’s construction, from providing services and managing materials to hiring subcontractors to do some of the work.
Ten years ago, OP’s brother and father needed heavy equipment to install a deck. He wouldn’t let his family borrow it, but they persuaded his wife to let him borrow it anyway.
They totaled the equipment and used the insurance money to cover medical bills and their trucks, but not about $70,000 worth of equipment.
Ten years later they still haven’t paid back the BIL. When he heard that BIL was still upset about money, OP called him and said it was an “a**” for putting money before family.
All of this caused the sister and her children to withdraw from an upcoming family vacation, telling the OP that calling BIL was inappropriate.
After doing some research, it seems there are a lot of customizations that can affect the price of a skid loader, but prices range from $30,000 to $60,000, with bigger and more powerful models It reaches a price of $100,000. As for dump trailers, new units range from 5,000 to over 20,000 for large units with strong hydraulics. Therefore, the price of the equipment my husband lost certainly seems to add up.
While that may seem like the best option, there are many reasons why BIL does not want to take legal action against extended families. It could be against respect for my wife and I don’t want to put my parents in an even worse situation than they are now. Another reason is that she let her father and brother take away her BIL’s equipment, so that her wife could be considered complicit in her crime and prosecuted as well.
Image credit: bradley gordon
About this article bored panda We reached out to Linda C. Fritz, a former attorney with 30 years of experience, 20 of those years as an arbitrator and mediator. Fritz has worked on hundreds of cases in many areas, from real estate and construction to personal injury and medical.
With our current situation in mind, one of the first things Linda mentions is that “if an event happened 10 years ago, there are likely to be statute of limitations considerations.” For BIL, an attorney must give advice before litigation or legal action.
Working with limited information, Linda says this could be classified as a civil action (proselytizing tort) or a criminal action (theft). “Given the value of such equipment, it’s probably Grand Theft!” Linda continues.
Nonetheless, legal action can be wasted in the amount of time that has passed. District Attorneys are reluctant to prosecute and civil litigants will have the statute of limitations issues already mentioned. . Therefore, to the dismay of many commentators, it is likely that BIL will not be able to obtain compensation for what was taken from him.
Not all hope is lost at this point. Linda suggests that there may be a way to solve this problem, or at least make the relationship a little less burdensome. It is difficult to determine whether the passage of time is significant in this kind of mediation.
In such a spontaneous and confidential environment, if the family really wants to keep the relationship going, a mediator may be able to help keep all the tumultuous emotions under control and reach some sort of compromise. .
“Having conducted hundreds of mediations in my legal career, my experience in such situations indicates that these types of mediations have about a 50% chance of success. increase.”
Image credit: George Deciplis
When asked about suing her family, Linda said:
In addition to the obvious consequences of seriously damaging the relationship, Linda says those who file lawsuits should consider their role in the dispute. Did you take steps to receive or contact law enforcement? If not, why?
Linda emphasizes that less is more when dealing with family and potential legal situations. The less threat of legal action and potential consequences, and the more suggestions for resolving a problem, the better.”Mediation services and mediators are abundant in every city and state.” As long as no heinous crimes are involved, arbitration immediately after an event works wonders!”
Mediation is very common, effective in some, but not all, criminal cases, and is often prohibited in many courts, Linda continues.
Finally, Linda cites potential reasons why families may be reluctant to contact law enforcement. Law enforcement and the legal system take precedence.
With mediation, families have a say in the outcome and are not forced to disagree.
If you want to learn more about Linda or how to resolve conflicts, we recommend visiting Linda’s. websiteYou can find more information about dispute resolution and mediation in so many different situations here.
Image credit: Paveu L
But what if you can’t get along with your partner’s family? Perhaps they somehow held you down or never thought you were worthy of a partner? LOVE Around Me has some tips.
One suggestion is to be honest with your partner, but only when you’ve spent more time with your family. This allows you to avoid uncomfortable situations with your family or limit contact with them.
Another important thing you can do is stand your ground. If your family members are mocking you, you need to be casual at first, and if they aren’t listening to you, obviously you need to let them know that you’re not getting it at all.
What if you are the one between your partner and your family? Is there anything you can do to ease the friction between the parties? rompers suggests first having a discussion with your partner about what they don’t like and where that feeling is coming from. Knowing what’s bothering your partner can create tools to help you navigate difficult family situations.
You can also talk to your family about their concerns without being too defensive.If their concerns aren’t grounded in justification, the best option is to ask them to respect you.
Ultimately, you shouldn’t forget yourself and set boundaries to protect your own mental health. If either your parents or your partner doesn’t stop being negative, you need to tell them that you need some space because you’re stressed.
In this case, the comments determined that this person really is a jerk. Their post received over 14,000 upvotes and over 7,000 comments. Commenters said BIL was right to cut them off and should do his best to complete him for $70,000.