Most parents will complain that the older their children get, the less time they spend together. Especially when those kids are in their teens and prefer to hang out with their friends.
But this mother, concerned that her 11-year-old still wanted to cuddle, told her to stop when she jumped on her mother’s lap as usual. Her rejection broke her daughter’s little heart and she became closed off.
More information: reddit
There is something comforting about hugging a parent as an adult, but this woman rejected her 11-year-old daughter
Image credit: Mizuno K (not actual photo)
As mentioned, the original poster’s (OP’s) daughter is 11 years old, but is so small that people see her as young and treat her like a small child. We can only assume that she said it because her mother is worried that her daughter is not growing up according to her age.
The mother was worried that keeping her daughter on her lap was somehow hurting her. I told the girl that I was too old.
Such a sudden change in love must have been a shock to the girl. I can only imagine what she thought of this rejection, especially since she immediately ran to her room and she didn’t speak to her mother unless asked for something.
The mother tried to hug her goodbye, but she didn’t hug her back, and I understand that it hurt her feelings, but at the same time, it’s not normal for an 11-year-old to do that. They were very affectionate to their parents.
My 11-year-old likes to sit on my lap and cuddle when my parents sit down on the couch or chair.
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The comment section couldn’t disagree more. The mother said she would do anything for her teenage children to cuddle with her, but the grown-up children say they still hold their parents and are very comforting.
The reader is pretty confused as to why the OP thinks it’s inappropriate for a daughter to show affection, making the mother feel like she’s done something wrong to her daughter, feeling rejected, and the girl complaining that her mother I explained that you might think otherwise.I don’t love her anymore.
Her mother is concerned that she’s still doing it at her age, implying that she’s not growing up the way she should have.
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There are many resources online that confirm the benefits of cuddling. parenting brain He mentions some of them, including brain and body development. He also mentions that physical touch releases the happiness hormone oxytocin, which “strengthens the immune response by lowering plasma levels of thyroid hormones and reducing inflammation.” And it can also keep children healthy by helping wounds heal faster.
Hugs are not only good for your physical health, they are also good for your mental health. They help children self-regulate and reduce the likelihood of tantrums.
Additionally, children aren’t the only ones who benefit from hugging and cuddling. Robert Giessler Those who work as nurses in the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Foundation’s neonatal and infant intensive care units list the many health benefits they can provide. improvement, anxiety and stress reduction, and strengthening the digestive, circulatory, and gastrointestinal systems.
So the mother told her to get off when she tried to make her comfortable as usual.
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Image credit: Monstera (not actual photo)
Dr. Laura Markham, a trained clinical psychologist and founder Haha!child rearing We believe that preteen children who want to cuddle with their parents need not worry.
However, the mother’s worries are not unfounded. If your child is overly sensitive, it could be a sign of sensory processing disorder (SPD). bellyHowever, it is usually accompanied by a range of symptoms, including hypersensitivity to stimuli, being constantly on the move, being easily distracted, and difficulty making friends or reading.
It can also be a problem if the child cannot go through the day without being held, feels anxious, or sleeps only after a while with the parent.
A mother feels guilty and at the same time it’s strange to have an 11-year-old sit on her lap.
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Some readers suspected that the OP himself didn’t like cuddles or that his daughter felt too big to sit on his lap, so I suggested teaching 11-year-old consent and boundaries. But girls feel like a burden.
The mother was pretty vocal in her comments, admitting her mistake after people explained how important it was to embrace her at any age after sharing her own experience to give her a child’s perspective. The OP apologized to his daughter and promised to allow her to cuddle with her because she actually enjoys it.
Image credit: Kitz Stocker (not actual photo)
Do you think there is an inappropriate age limit for showing affection between children and parents? Would you worry if your children weren’t little anymore and wanted to hug you? Let us know your thoughts and opinions in the comments.