19-year-old daughter gets left out of family dinner for calling dad’s 26-year-old girlfriend a gold digger
If you have children, being the biological parent of them does not automatically make you close to them. Like any relationship, it takes effort and needs to be continuously nurtured.
This dad blames himself for not being close to his daughter, but was surprised when he said something he didn’t like and was upset that his daughter wasn’t invited to the BBQ dinner. . I don’t even want to be there.
More information: reddit
Dad blames himself for not being close to daughter, but cuts her off at first argument
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The father introduced his new girlfriend to the family and his daughter pointed out that she was a gold digger. It was a fact that everyone knew.
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The father was quite offended and didn’t want to hear about it again, so he excluded his daughter from the next gathering, upsetting her.
The reason the original poster (OP) isn’t particularly close to his daughter is that when he divorced his mother, the girl was 13 and only got to see her a few times a year on special occasions.
After the divorce, despite being 33 years old, he loses control of his life and takes responsibility for it. It’s not clear if his father survived the crisis, but at least he’s in a relationship he considers serious enough to introduce to his family.
So he took them out to dinner and introduced his new girlfriend to them.
What he cared about was that his daughter called his girlfriend a gold digger. There is tension between
Because of this one comment, the next time the OP hosted a dinner, he didn’t invite his daughter. He was convinced that she hated the woman he loved and wanted to avoid a repeat of this situation, so when he found out he had been left out I was surprised that my daughter was so upset.
People in the comments were relentless, saying that her father was absent as a teenager, tried to reconnect after life-threatening divorce, but shut her down again after one argument, telling her that she wasn’t that important. showed again that in his life. From what they read, redditors didn’t think the OP cared about her relationship with her daughter.
Image credit: John Krupsky (not actual photo)
As children, we have a different kind of relationship with our mothers than we do with our fathers, learning different things from them and seeking different advice. She feels that she is missing something.
Statistically, the parental figure that children see less often or never in their lives is their father, as we are talking about today.Survey conducted in France ERFI showed that “Overall, 18% of children (aged 0-34) of separated parents reported that their fathers had never met.” research A third of UK families indicated that a third of children whose parents have separated have never seen their father again.
ERFI research shows that a variety of factors contribute to fathers not having close relationships with their children after divorce, or not having children at all. First, bonds weaken over time, so the younger the child is at the time of divorce, the more likely the relationship will end. , the child may be reluctant to see the father, lose interest in the child, or the mother may try to prevent the father from contacting the child.”
Another is physical distance. The further away the father is from the child, the less often they meet. Data shows that less effort goes into arranging meetings and visits if the distance takes her four hours or more.
The study was very detailed and showed that “a father’s education level, employment status, and income all influence a child’s likelihood of not maintaining contact with him.” If the father had more money, he could afford transportation and the house would have a separate room to accommodate the children.
Another factor is the father’s relationship with his own father and with other family members: “If the father himself was not raised by two parents by the age of 15, the number of children who no longer see their father will increase.” The percentage will be doubled.”
The father may not want the relationship to begin with, even if he has the means to do so.Family First Motherhood Program iMOM states that some fathers simply avoid it because they suffer from an overwhelming grief every time they see their children. Others may feel angry as a result of that grief. Divorce can be seen as a failure, so when a marriage fails, your whole life can seem like a failure, and your children will be a reminder of that. You may not think so.
But are these things an excuse not to have anything to do with the child you brought into the world? Are Your Own Mental Health Struggles An Excuse? What do you think? And are you upset that your child insulted your new life partner is an excuse to exclude them from the family dinner? Let us know in the comments.