You may have heard that being an older or middle child is difficult. Because parents suddenly seem more interested in other children. This can be difficult to accept when children are used to getting all the attention and affection of their parents. It can be even more difficult because you will feel that you are being abused.
The problem stemming from this is shared by u/ScreamingAH asking if it’s the jerk who ends up snapping at her parents and brother because they always come before her .
More information: reddit
It is very painful to feel neglected by your parents. In particular, you always seem to put your siblings before you.
Image credit: Jeffrey Reed (not actual image)
A woman wanted advice on how she eventually snapped at her grown-up brother with autism who was constantly in the spotlight of her parents while she was being abused
Image credit: u/Screaming AH
Tired of being in second place all the time, OP moved out and was doing well until her parents “surprised” her at Christmas and stayed for a month without notice.
Image credit: u/Screaming AH
After breaking what was dear to her every day of the month her brother was there, she finally boiled over and yelled at him to run away from her.
Image credit: u/Screaming AH
The poster states that she feels guilty for yelling at her brother because he doesn’t know him well, but she still means she told him
Original Poster (OP), a 27-year-old woman, begins by having an autistic sibling who is three years older than her and has special needs. She notes that her parents have always adored him and that she taught them to put his needs above all else.
She was always in the background when OP was growing up. was focused on.
The present she got was also for her brother, and she had no possessions that she could truly call her own, and she could not touch his things because she would get upset if she touched them.
All of this combined made her resent her brother over the years. She said in the OP that while she understands it wasn’t her brother’s fault, “she couldn’t help but hate him.” Not wanting to expose her feelings to her parents or her unmotivated younger brother, she moved out as soon as possible. This was a great relief to her, as she used to visit her parents twice a year, a few days at a time.
While the problem seemed to be fixed by the OP, her parents and siblings were seen with a low profile, but the wounds were renewed when her family decided to show up at her house for Christmas. Was. Unpublished. about a month.
Image credit: Gary Knight (not actual image)
Unsurprisingly, all of the OP’s childhood frustrations are back. Perhaps her brother’s behavior worsened as well: every day he rummaged through her belongings and smashed her things. At least one a day, some sentimental, some expensive.
The event that overflowed the OP’s cup was that he broke the lock in her room and ruined many of her prized possessions. told me to run away from The OP says he’s not sure, but she may have said she wished her brother didn’t exist.
The screaming angered the brother and he had a temper tantrum, hurting his stressed parents.
After this incident, OP’s mom called every day, crying on the phone for hours and apologizing, but still said she shouldn’t have been so cruel. I called to say I was disappointed to be
The OP concludes the story by saying she feels very guilty about her words, but at the same time, she meant them. , I understand that he didn’t want to harm her, but the excuses are over.
Image credit: Polina Zimmerman (not actual image)
Coping with this situation can be especially difficult for siblings of children with special needs, and they may begin to resent siblings and parents for feeling left out. the study These siblings were found to have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and difficulty with peers.Low-income households are even more vulnerable. these cases This is due to less access to resources.
But the parents and siblings of these children have a variety of strategies that can do wonders. Child Mind Institute I have some advice For these parents and siblings.
They say parents should create a support system for children with disabilities with the help of after-school programs and extended families. They also say that children should speak up and participate in decision-making.Parents should also set aside special time for their children. That way, they can bond with you, cherish it, and have something to look forward to.
As for siblings, the Child Mind Institute does several things to ensure their well-being. A key component is reaching out to others. Because the more you hold on to your emotions, the worse they get. They can also take time to get close to their siblings and get to know others better. So that you don’t get burned out and exhausted by life.
Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds also emphasize The importance of parents not making their children feel too responsible. Siblings of children with disabilities may have unrealistic expectations of themselves. A parent’s job is to reassure them that they are loved and appreciated no matter what.
These strategies probably helped OP’s parents to be more considerate of both children. As it stands, their daughter was not only neglected, but was abused, minimizing her achievements and her brother’s misfortune, and the resentment between her and her family aggravated for a very long time.
The post received nearly 9,000 likes and 1,400 comments. A fair amount of it backed her OP, telling her that her parents were wronging her. People were shocked by the fact that her parents showed up at her door like that and for so long. I’m guessing that you are trying to “train” the
The comments generally thought it was not good for a daughter to snap and thought her daughter wasn’t a jerk, but that was to be expected after her parents treated her like they were.
Image credit: Vera Arsic (not actual image)