‘My husband wants us to punish Layla’: Parents disagree over whether to punish 7 YO for ‘boyfriend cheating’
Childhood relationships are super cute. They are very shy and excited about their new “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. It helps you learn about intimate relationships and friendships without taking risks. There are also many lessons about treating others kindly, not sharing secrets, leaving them behind, or hurting them in other ways.
But what if children hurt each other? Should parents step in and punish them or let their kids figure it out? share how they disagree about this result.
More information: reddit
It may surprise you to hear that an elementary school child has a girlfriend or boyfriend, but it’s cute and it’s a good learning experience.
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A mother wants to know if it’s wrong not to punish her 7-year-old for “cheating” on her boyfriend.
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The OP’s husband wanted to punish Layla, but her mother refused, thinking it wasn’t that serious, but her father said she was “raising a cheater.”
The original poster (OP) begins the story by saying that she has a 7-year-old daughter named Layla with her husband. Layla got her first boyfriend named Lucas a few months ago. Since she’s 7 years old, she only draws hearts, holds hands, and gives cute presents on Valentine’s Day.
Problems arose when Layla was caught holding hands with another boy. Lucas is upset by this and Layla and her family are informed about this by the “boyfriend’s” parents and Lucas tells Layla that the weekend won’t come because he is mad at her.
This caused conflict between the parents, as the father wants to punish Leila and have a serious talk with her about being loyal. Mom thought she was joking at first, but she was surprised when she found out it was true. Her father says Layla cheated on Lucas and the OP for some reason needs to do something about it.
The mother refused to discipline her because Layla was 7 years old and not a cheater, saying it wasn’t that serious and digging her heels. At this point, the mother asked for more information about the situation and asked the internet if she was a jerk, which in this case was not to discipline Layla. I asked.
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About this article bored panda We reached out to Dr. Emily Edlin for advice from parents in a similar situation. Emily has a master’s degree in clinical psychology and her PhD. She is a small private practice with children, teens and adults, specializing in health psychology, striving to help modern families find calm in the chaos of modern parenting. increase.
You can read more about her websiteyou can also pre-order her book On parenting strategies that support autonomy.
When asked whether parents should encourage or dissuade their children from engaging in play relationships, Emily suggested that parents should keep their children open to exploring play relationships. bottom. Each child approaches things differently, so it’s important to embrace their curiosity and interests. That way, you can grow naturally instead of feeling pressured to do something.
If you’re wondering what to say to your child when you see them exploring relationships, Dr. Emily explains. You need to emphasize the importance of consent and tell them that when it comes to physical interactions, they always have a choice and should be given a choice.
For example, make sure your child wants to hold hands with another child. If your child wants to hold hands with another child, teach them to ask, “Is it okay if I hold your hand?” These lessons, early on, lay a solid foundation for children to take ownership of their own bodies while simultaneously respecting the agency of others.
For the emotional part of a child’s first crush, parents can help them understand their child’s experiences and relationships by asking open-ended questions such as, “What does it mean to hold hands with someone else?” You can show curiosity to understanding. If you use the words “girlfriend” or “boyfriend,” ask, “How are you different from your other friends?”
Answers from the child’s perspective are important. This is because adults have a more sophisticated understanding of relationships that children are unprepared for. It’s best to watch your child explain in words.
Finally, if parents disagree about their child’s relationship, it should be done in a private place away from the child, Dr. Emily says. It’s also important to consider bringing your own emotions and unresolved issues into parenting.
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It is very educational for children to build relationships, to understand what people are like and what they like, and to avoid hurting others with unkind behavior. helps you learn. But what do you have to watch out for?What is the appropriate age for your child to start playdates and when should you have a serious discussion about it with your children? PureWow article Dive into this issue.
After being asked if it’s too early for children to start dating, experts said our definition of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” could mean different things to children. People define these concepts differently at different stages of life, so we need to be clear about what both mean. Unfortunately, there is no specific age for a child to start having a relationship as it varies greatly depending on the maturity of the child.
If your child comes home from school with a new “significant other” and says they kissed, don’t worry. These relationships and behaviors are far more innocent and less serious than we think. This is about boundaries, consent, and other topics related to relationships. It is also a good opportunity to talk about
Finally, how should you decide when your kids are old enough to date? You should consider whether they are mature enough. Do they understand what relationships are? How do they treat themselves and others and set boundaries? There is no one solution for every child. First and foremost, the child’s maturity and emotions should be taken into consideration.
The post garnered over 27,000 upvotes and nearly 3,000 comments within four days. The thread was quickly locked by the moderators as the discussion must have gotten too hot for the subreddit. Commentators decided the OP wasn’t a jerk, mostly commenting on the weirdness of the father’s point of view.