‘I have to nurse in bathroom or guest bedroom’: New mom ‘violates’ in-laws’ rules by breastfeeding baby around FIL, gets called out
As it happens, Christmas is the perfect “supplier” not only for romantic and funny stories, but for a wide variety of stories in the family drama genre. Of course, this is easy to explain. Because Christmas is a family holiday, so often relatives representing different generations, different beliefs and values, and different points of view on even the simplest things gather under the same roof. is. And where there are differences, alas, there is always conflict.
How much do we hear when our spouse’s parents believe they are more experienced in the field of parenting and try to “instruct” new mothers and fathers while actually imposing their own point of view on them? Have you ever done this? Often this doesn’t lead to good results. Here’s another fairly clear example.
This story recently appeared in the AITA Reddit community, Post written by user u/aitabffilb, with about 4.4K upvotes and over 1.6K comments as of today. And even though we’re talking here about violating the almost unshakable but unspoken law of “My Home – My Rules,” most commenters favored “violators.” But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…
More information: reddit
Post and her husband usually spend time with their male parents before Christmas.Because my parents-in-law don’t celebrate Christmas
Image credit: Photo by faungg (not actual image)
So the original poster and her husband usually spend time visiting their parents at the end of the year. They always spend Christmas with the original poster’s parents and visit her in-laws before that. The problem is that the OP’s husband’s parents don’t celebrate Christmas as a rule. , I’m sure they have every right to do as they please.
Image credit: u/aitabbfilb
When the author gave birth to her son in August, her step-parents began giving her a lot of unsolicited advice about parenting.
But this year things are more complicated. Also, as the poster says, it was with the birth of his son in August. The OP claims that her in-laws are not only very principled, but also very pushy people with their ideas. – For example, I always say that when I raised my child, he was literally talking and crawling at 3 months old. Something wrong.
Image credit: u/aitabbfilb
Additionally, after the birth of their son, OP had a minor conflict with her FIL about feeding the baby. As for the father-in-law, he has made up his mind – the child has eaten formula a few times, so why not switch to it all the time?
Image credit: u/aitabbfilb
Before the spouses arrived, the in-laws argued that new moms might not breastfeed their babies in the home’s ‘family space’
In any case, the author of the post defended her right to breastfeed her son, but this time, when they visited her in-laws, she was confronted with the fact that they could not breastfeed their child at their home. Did. Because it is supposed to make her husband’s parents “uncomfortable”. But what can she do to her? Her new mother agreed with it because she didn’t want judgment on her.
Image credit: Dave Clubb (not actual photo)
So when the couple arrives at the in-laws’ house, the new mom has to endure a barrage of questions, such as why she “breastfed” her baby “obviously likes formula”. Of course the OP was upset by such a question, but he gritted his teeth and calmed himself down. Her husband saw her wife was uncomfortable and decided to talk to her parents. But the worst was still waiting…
Image credit: u/aitabbfilb
One day, when a new mom decides to breastfeed her hungry baby in an empty living room, her FIL comes along…
One day the child was hungry and started crying. The new mom was tired of going up to her bedroom so she decided to seize the moment.After all, my husband and his mother were smoking outside and my father-in-law was cleaning up the kitchen. The OP decided that she could feed the baby directly in the living room without anyone looking at her.And at that moment the landlord came back to the room…
Image credit: u/aitabbfilb
MIL called author ‘selfish’ and said he ‘violated house rules’
The OP’s FIL literally moaned and asked in a tragic voice what she was doing. Then the mother-in-law came in and yelled at the woman for “breaking the house rules” and doing something she knew would make other people “uncomfortable.” called the OP selfish and even asked – how would she feel if she and her husband started walking naked?
Image credit: Bernie Moss (not actual image)
More accusations followed, but the OP didn’t care. She tearfully called her mother and her husband ended up arguing with his parents. When her mother heard about her situation, she immediately offered to buy air tickets for her daughter and baby, but decided that her husband was not protecting her wife enough, so she decided to leave her home. I refused to pay for my husband’s airline ticket. But her husband understood and accepted what happened and she didn’t have an extra seizure.
The author and baby flew to her parents for support, but her own father told her she was wrong in that case.
If you think this is the end of the plot, you are definitely wrong. Our heroine turns out not to have had a perfect understanding even among her own parents, her mother completely sided with her, while her father was taught the rules of conduct in someone else’s home. However, his own wife immediately interrupted the man’s yelling and asked him to “stop being a demon advocate.” I planted a seed of doubt in my daughter’s head…
But most people in the comments sided with the new mother and her step-parents labeled people disrespectful and critical
Still, the commenters have tried to dispel all of the OP’s doubts in this situation. According to people in the comments, feeding her baby is far more important than catering to FIL’s delicate sensibilities. Additionally, some commenters are generally disgusted by the baby’s own grandparents making the mother feel this way. should be more active in
Yes, on the other hand, some commenters have admitted that the OP’s in-laws have the right to create their own rules in their own homes. The homeowners themselves behave disrespectfully and appear to be judgmental people.On the other hand, the OP probably didn’t agree with these ridiculous rules beforehand.Husbands, in conflict with their own parents I knew enough to stand by her side.
In situations like this, we believe your perspective can be helpful too, so feel free to voice it in the comments. And as always, if you’ve faced or witnessed a similar case, please Tell us your own story and how it all ended on both sides of the conflict.
