“[Am I The Jerk] For refusing to lie to your niece why you shouldn’t come skiing with us? ”
It’s hard to stay silent when you see someone raising a child and you’re convinced that’s not the way it’s supposed to be, but it’s important to teach parents how they want to raise their children. is not your position.
But in some circumstances, I had to speak my mind and this Reddit user was pushed into one. She was allowed to take her niece on a ski trip, but then her mother changed her mind. However, she didn’t want her daughter to get mad at her, so she asked her aunt to lie to her niece and tell her that the trip was cancelled. I thought it would be wrong to ask her to, but Mei is definitely really mad at her mother, so she’s conflicted.
More information: reddit
The aunt was finally able to take her niece skiing, but her parents changed their minds and she was asked to take responsibility.
Image credit: Mario AP (not actual image)
The original poster (OP) has an older brother who got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 19. They stayed together and raised a daughter, Ashley, who is now 11, and a son, who is now 4.
The niece has been described as “bright and thoughtful and just fun to be with,” and despite only seeing her a few times a year due to her online hookup, the OP actually gets pretty close with her. became.
This woman’s brother had a daughter when he was 19, with whom she was very close, and although we do not see each other often, we are in constant contact.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Every year, a woman and her boyfriend go skiing on New Year’s Day after visiting family at Christmas. Her brother Hugo and his wife Amy allowed OP to take Ashley on that ski trip.
Ashley was thrilled with the news because she attends a private school that her grandparents pay for. She’s always full of wealthy kids on lavish vacations, but her family isn’t.
As the OP explained in the comments, her and her brother’s parents cut off loans when they moved out of their parental home and were forced to make ends meet on their own, but they really cared about their grandchildren’s education. So they offered to pay for the private school.
The girl is now 11 years old and for the first time her parents allowed her to go on her aunt’s annual ski trip.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Image credit: Damian Morris (not actual image)
The woman suspects Ashley’s parents didn’t know what their daughter was signing up for, but believed it would help their daughter with her schoolwork. We live in a different world than our parents, where expensive cars and luxury bags play an important role.
It was clear from what happened during dinner when Ashley asked her aunt to accompany her friends to go ice skating.
The OP didn’t mind spending the day with the kids, but she didn’t want to ruin Amy’s plans, especially since she knew her sister-in-law didn’t like her very much. , Ashley began insulting her mother. The Redditor wanted to give her parent the final say.
The poster for the story could be called a cool aunt, and the girl wanted to accompany her on an ice skating trip with her friends.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
But according to her aunt, it wasn’t just a teenage outburst of desire to look cool. The 11-year-old doesn’t know how else to create space between herself and her mother other than being mean.
When the girl’s mother said she had already cleared the day for her to attend, the 11-year-old began to insult her mother and explain why she didn’t want her to go.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Due to the girl’s behavior, her parents gave her punishment by completely not allowing her to go ice skating. She was pretty upset about it and stopped talking to her mother, who didn’t want her to go on the ski trip anymore, worried about Ashley’s behavior. .
The weird part and the part the OP couldn’t agree with is that her parents lied to her niece and asked her to tell her they weren’t going skiing. Not wanting anything, she asked her aunt to give her a shot.
She understands her parents, but at the same time, they have to take responsibility for their actions and sort out all these feelings without lying. She doesn’t want to ruin her relationship with Ashley or break her trust. was taken out.
The aunt did not get involved in family quarrels and allowed her parents to punish their daughter as they pleased.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
She doesn’t want to deceive her niece, so she’s at a loss as to what to do.
The internet helped and provided their perspective. Most of them agreed that the OP, who didn’t want to lie, was reasonable and that Ashley deserved to know the truth. She needs to know why she is being punished.
Daughter got so angry that she stopped talking to her mother because her parents decided to cancel the ice skating trip.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Image credit: Matthew Pack (not actual image)
A lot of people called OP a “cool aunt”. There’s no clear definition of what that means, but a cool aunt usually doesn’t have kids, travels a lot, has money, likes to spend on nieces and nephews, and doesn’t judge , will give wise advice for you…all problems.
the scientist They argue that an aunt is just as important to a girl as a mother and doesn’t even have to be a blood relative. – but allowing her to thrive and feel comfortable discovering new things.”
Aunts and uncles don’t have to ask if they’ve done their homework or put them to bed early. Children appreciate it. They want to spend time with them and take some time away from their everyday lives.
Later, my aunt was told that the parents should also change their minds about the ski trip and have more time for mother and daughter to bond.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Parents have the right to discipline their children, but the problem the woman had was that she asked her niece to lie about canceling the trip.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Some people accused the OP of trying to be a cool aunt, but she actually explained to Ashley that she told Ashley she didn’t agree with what the little girl said about her mother. In, “I tell her when I think she’s wrong, and when I have a disagreement, I talk about it. I don’t think I have to get her to agree. And it has nothing to do with being cool.
The aunt realized that it was because her mother didn’t want her daughter to be angry with her anymore, but she believed that lying wasn’t the solution.
Image credit: u/throwaway_neiceski
Do you think women should try to protect Ashley’s mom from her daughter’s wrath by lying to her? Or is it the parent’s responsibility to resolve family issues directly? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
